Posted on September 03 2020
Vulnerable post coming at cha in 3,2,1 and here we go. Let’s get into it!
When was the last time you felt beautiful? Not just on the outside, but truly beautiful. You looked in the mirror and what was looking back at you made you smile, you felt proud and accomplished.
Something that I have struggled with most of my life is how I have felt about myself. I have buried these feelings. Buried them with severe food issues. To the point where I had to be spoken to by countless people about possible eating disorders. How is that Jess ? You weren’t under weight or malnourished? That right there is a stigma. I had to stop keeping track of my food journal for my nutritionist because just the thought of that meal being 300 calories would send me into a tail spin.
I still see my nutritionist twice a month and I talk with her weekly, but I don’t track my food. Am I at a healthy place with food? Sometimes. It is a journey. However, I will say that for me, today, I am finally learning to love that little girl that is looking back at me in the mirror. Her body may not be what I think is perfect, but it is healthy, and she is strong! Stronger than she even knew. I have always said if you don’t have your health, then what do you have? Would I like to be leaner and not so round? Absolutely, but this is me, for now.
Is my daily life a struggle with these issues, totally. Do I add a tremendous amount of pressure on to my life that really at the end of the day is unnecessary, yup. I am learning, I am trying to be kinder to myself. To really love myself!
I have learned that it is more than just about the clothes you put on your body, it is how you feel in those clothes. Honestly I am all about comfort, and that is where Sequins & Sass was born! Being comfortable and looking your best, while not looking like everyone else.
I only buy items I personally love and feel beautiful in. I love taking pictures in the pieces because I love putting items together. However, with how I look and how I feel towards my body recently, is the toughest part of my job. I am trying to give myself grace. I am of course grateful for all that I have, but having these feelings deep down doesn’t make it any easier.
Part 2 coming soon….